May 8, 2024

GOD’S WORD FOR TODAY:

“Find out what pleases the Lord.  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 5.10; Ephesians 6.4)

REFLECTION ON GOD’S WORD:

To remove anything that may be a stumbling block in the reading and reflecting upon verse 4, let me say that there are translations which suggest a substitution of “parents” for the word “fathers.” However, to remain consistent with Paul’s “trickle down” teaching as fathers (who are husbands submitting to their wives as unto the Lord) are faithful to being husbands so then wives are faithful as being mothers. It is impossible, I believe, to understand fathering without understanding mothering and vice versa. Afterall, on the “sixth day” of creation, God created humankind in His image: male and female He created them. He did not create independent persons nor co-dependent ones. He created interdependent, intertwining, intermingling persons so that the two could be as one in promoting the creative essence of God which is authentic love. So, read verse 4 as “fathers….” or “parents….” But, I have a strong inkling that Paul was confronting the male persona that was present in his day as we too often see it in our own day. That persona is distant, aloof, sometimes absent, overbearing, and not fully committed to wholeness as men are intended to be. I know I have failed many times as husband and father. Try as I may, I must still strive to be better at both for the future of those with whom I am in relationship. The greatest stumbling block is trusting God for all I need so that my wants become immaterial. In doing that, I can better focus on what is needed that I am to provide to others. Nobody said it would be easy. It shouldn’t feel impossible. I pray for wisdom and forgiveness in all these areas daily; sometimes more frequently.

So, “Fathers [Parents], do not exasperate your children.” I would add, knowing that I should not add nor take away from the Word of God as it is presented, “…do not exasperate your spouse.” What is exasperate? A good working definition of the word is this “to intensely irritate and frustrate another.” From my experience this tends to happen when my psycho-emotional wants become strained to the point of emptiness. Losing sight of the blessings at hand and putting myself before others who are not seeing me the way I see myself leads to a state of irritation and frustration. Instead of just dealing with myself, the want becomes thrust upon others to fill the void. The result is more chaos than peace, more angst than peace. Some interpret the “…in the beginning….” of Genesis where it says “…the earth was void and empty” as a vision of chaos as if the very elements needed for creation were in conflict with each other. There was no sense of unity, transformational existence, no joined mission and purpose. I see it in today’s society as the current culture and climate of the world’s understanding of freedom is an allowance for individualism to the point of alienation. There is little unity except to agree to disagree. The transformation ideal is to lose identity and adopt that of others. The result is a roaming cluster of chameleons, shape shifting in body, mind, heart and soul. It isn’t so much that there is a void where nothing exists. Rather, it is an emptiness of being joined together for mutual benefit, growth and hope. Instead of being opposites bound for attraction, we become similars that repel. That lack of connection results in exasperation as wants become needs and needs remain unfilled.

I pray that makes sense to you, mighty ones of God, as I strive to put these thoughts together. I see a type of rubric for being better fathers and mothers individually and parents collaboratively. The same was proposed by Paul for husbands and wives for and with one another. The benefit was becoming better parents for their children and those whom they would minister to as if they were their children. It is about putting God first, God’s call over our lives second and then letting the Holy Spirit lead through the rest. This is why Paul caveats his expectation of fathers [parents] to not exasperate their children with “…bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” We are not perfect people, spouses, parents, friends or followers of Christ. However, we do have God’s Word as a script and in the gospel as the physical manifestation of what it means to “love one another.” Teaching our children and learning from our own lessons (or rather, the lessons which God is still teaching us) to be in tune with God’s Word in Spirit and in Truth keeps all of our eyes on the journey ahead without getting lost on focusing on the world as the object of who we want to love us. Isn’t this the basic intent of God’s word? To not desire the love of the world, but the love of God, should be our aim and our purpose as a person, a spouse, a father, a friend, a co-worker and a disciple of Christ Jesus our Lord.

TODAY’S PRAYER IN RESPONSE TO GOD’S WORD:

Father, before we were conceived in the womb, You had already formed us in Your love and by Your Spirit brought us into being. Each one of us is blessed with the opportunity of doing right, being good and producing the fruit of the Spirit so that others may be fed the truth of that same love so that the two will become one. It is our soul’s sincere desire to embrace the oneness You have in mind that we would know that we are Your people and that You are our God. Lead us in that discovery of the truth and the manifestation of that love for us all. In Jesus’ name, we pray. AMEN.